My Amazing Powers Back to Work: Imprinting Explained

Because, I, Marcus, have amazing powers to sense people's relationships, I can understand something that no one else can: werewolf and imprinting.
And since Dan has once again challenged the Twilight series in his amazing blog (http://community.sparknotes.com/2010/10/28/blogging-breaking-dawn-part-19) regarding the imprinting between Quil and Claire and Jacob and Optimum Beyonce (I know it isn't her real name, but I like this better), I will try to explain the art of imprinting (yes, it is an art form).

First, let me talk about the relationships. Then, I will proceed to explain the science behind it.

The relationships are not sexual. It is true-lovish. Like earth revolving around moon, the imprintee is the imprinter's center. It is as real as the loam we step on, as true as the sparkling Edward.
The relationship can be compared to that of Edward's and Bella's. Once imprinted, the imprintee is the sole reason for the imprinter's existence. Even the rhythm of their heart beats are beautiful. Whenever the imprintee enters the imprinter's eyesight, it is like a huge amount of red and orange and yellow and purple and blue and green approaching and covering the imprinter's heart. But, since this is true love, the imprintee shall return the love to the imprinter as early as birth. In other words, Optimum Beyonce will discover a love for Jacob before even discovering her own toes.
The relationship is at best true-lovish, at worst pedophilish and stalkerish.
With all that said, I don't understand why Dan is so creeped out by this. Both the pedophile and the stalker parts are also present in Edward and Bella's part. Edward is over 100 years old and in love with a teenage girl. Edward watches Bella when he sleeps. And Dan got over this relationship ok, or almost ok. It is yet determined if Dan will get over the imprinting relationships. Once he decides to, Alice will see it and will alert me.

Now, moving on to the science.
In a nut shell, imprinting works because of - chromosomes!
Yes, that's right!
Now, let's get into some specific math!
Number of chromosomal pairs in a vampire: 25
in werewolves: 24
in Optimum Beyonce: 24
in human: 23
Now, imprinting will only work on organisms that contain more chromosomal pairs than human but less chromosomal pair than vampires. In other words, only werewolves and Optimum Beyonce can be imprinters. But since a werewolf saw Optimum Beyonce before Optimum Beyonce saw her imprint mate (for her eyes weren't even focused when it happened), the werewolf (Jacob) becomes the imprinter while Optimum Beyonce becomes the imprintee. Following me so far?
Imprinters can imprint on organisms only when the chromosomal pairs in that organism is less than or equal to the imprinters. Thus, werewolves can imprint on Optimum Beyonce or humans, but can't imprint on vampires.
And due to the number of chromosomal pairs, imprinting exists beyond law and reason. It is only weird and abnormal in the imprinting world if the difference in chromosomal pairs is greater than 2. Only when this happens, will the relationship be abnormal or qualifies as pedophile. So, it is perfectly reasonable when werewolves imprint on humans or Optimum Beyonce, regardless of their age, because the difference is 1 and 0 respectively. With these small differences, the relationships are not illegal at all.
Now, if Jacob imprinted on an attic, which has 13 chromosomal pairs, it would be illegal and the cloak of black will have to kill him. But it is perfectly lovely if Jacob imprints on Optimum Beyonce.
Understand? This isn't anymore complicated than Alice's powers!

P.S. See, Dan, I can not only sense relationships, I can do math and science too!